Stan's Recent Reviews

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04/21/2013 - 2:47pm

Earth is nearly uninhabitable after a war with aliens known as Scavengers (Scavs for short).  The Scavs destroyed the Moon which caused massive earthquakes and tsunami then sent down an invasion force.  To win the war, humanity had to use nuclear weapons.  While the Scavs were defeated, most of the planet was ruined.  What’s left of humanity is either heading for Saturn’s moon Titan or living on a giant orbiting space station called the Tet.

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04/14/2013 - 12:04am

After a long and complicated intimate encounter, Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan (playing themselves) are attacked by an evil spirit or ghost.  Charlie is killed and his three children disappear.  Months later, they are found in a cabin in the woods by Snoop Dogg and Mac Miller (playing themselves).  The children are put in the care of Dan and Jody Sanders (Simon Rex and Ashley Tisdale), a young married couple.

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04/07/2013 - 7:34pm

The old cabin in the woods has been the sight of many fun-filled family vacations; but very bad things have happened there as well, especially in the cellar.  No one has been in the cabin for years as far as anyone knows, and it seems like the perfect place for Mia (Jane Levy) to go cold turkey off of heroin.  She will be supported in her effort by childhood friends Eric and Jessica (Lou Taylor Pucci and Jessica Lucas).  He’s a high school teacher and she’s a registered nurse.

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03/31/2013 - 10:53pm

When the president of Pakistan is assassinated, America’s elite fighting force the G.I. Joes are sent in to secure the country’s nuclear warheads.  Leading the Joes is Duke (Channing Tatum) and his second in command and best friend Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson).  Also on the team is Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki), new recruit Flint (D.J. Cotrona) along with several other soldiers.  After they successfully acquire the warheads and are waiting for extraction from their desert operating base, the Joes are attacked by several helicopters firing machine guns and rockets.

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03/23/2013 - 10:16pm

Secret Service agent Mike Banning (Gerard Butler) is a former US Army Ranger with all the skills necessary to protect the President.  When an auto accident on an icy bridge leaves the presidential limousine dangling and about to fall into an icy river, Banning makes the tough decision of saving President Benjamin Asher (Aaron Eckhart) but leaving First Lady Margaret Asher (Ashley Judd) behind.  The car slips over the edge and the First Lady dies.  While everyone agrees Banning made the right decision, the President has him reassigned to a desk job in the Treasury Department.

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03/17/2013 - 3:53pm

Las Vegas illusionists Burt Wonderstone and Anton Marvelton (Steve Carell and Steve Buscemi) have been performing in the main showroom of Bally’s Hotel and Casino for 10 years.  While the title of their act is “A Magical Friendship,” the pair argues constantly when backstage.  Burt criticizes Anton’s every move within the act.  He also bullies their on-stage assistant so much she quits in the middle of a show.

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03/10/2013 - 2:23pm

Oscar Diggs (James Franco), a sideshow magician with a Kansas-based traveling circus in 1905, bills himself as Oz the Great and Powerful.  He’s a con artist and a womanizer who targets innocent young women from the crowd with a gift of a music box he claims belonged to his dead grandmother but is just one of many he has.  He enthralls audiences with his tricks which the locals believe is real magic.

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03/03/2013 - 6:08pm

Jack (Nicholas Hoult) and Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson) heard bedtime stories as children about a great king that, using a magic crown, had defeated a race of giants who live in a realm between Earth and Heaven.  The only way the giants can come to the ground or humans go to their realm is to climb massive beanstalks that grow from enchanted beans.  Jack, being a commoner farmer, and Isabelle, being a princess next in line for her kingdom’s throne, had very different upbringings; but the stories had similar effects on both of them.

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02/24/2013 - 12:15am

Georges and Anne (Jean-Louis Trintignant and Emmanuelle Riva) are married retired music teachers, living out their golden years in a comfortable apartment in Paris.  After attending a piano concert by Alexandre (Alexandre Tharaud), one of Anne’s former students, Anne has an attack of some sort where she becomes unresponsive to Georges for several seconds.  When she snaps out of it, she has no memory of the incident and believes Georges is playing a trick on her.

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02/17/2013 - 12:44am

John McClane (Bruce Willis) must travel to Russia and see if he can provide his son Jack (Jai Courtney) any assistance as Jack is facing murder charges.  When John arrives at the courthouse in Moscow he notices some things don’t look right.  About then, three powerful car bombs explode, blowing out a side of the building.  Jack and another prisoner named Komarov (Sebastian Koch) escape into the streets just as several armed men enter the devastated courtroom.